Death Leopard

Since being an Undertaker, I have lost all confidence in Doctors. It would seem, according to conversations I have heard on the way to Funerals, that by the time they have diagnosed what is actually wrong with you, that it is sometimes to late.

I presume this is partly due to observation problems?

Let me give you an example.

Yesterday I turned up for my appointment. I had to leg it straight from work, so was resplendent in my Funeral attire?

I had 10 minutes to talk to the Doctor about what was wrong. So I got my A4 bit of paper out and started reading my long list.

One of the things I mentioned ,was the repeat affliction of Cold Sores and how it interrupted my playing in the Band.

Oh what do you play, she asked.

Trombone I replied.

We then went on to my Tum problems and how tired I was feeling at work and being an Undertaker and all that.

Oh, your an Undertaker she replied.

Yes, I said, I thought you might guess by my clothes.

Oh, she said, I thought it was your Band Uniform!!!!

What did she think the Band was called??? 'The Decomposers' 'The Coffin Foot Stompers' 'The Embalmy Army'

For goodness sake, what chance do we stand???

So this morning I had an early blood test with a Nurse. Although she was in her 60s she started telling me about her ailments?? and how her Cholesterol was high and she had started Nordic Walking?? (Apparently you can ring the Viking Help Line and choose from Rape, Pillage or Walking??)

She then lifted her apron up and showed me her bum, saying how tight her buttocks had got since doing the power walking?

Good job I was not having my Blood Pressure taken! as it was a cute little derriere!!!

Maybe I will visit the Doctors more often for the laughs and the glamour!