Living alone, I have often considered employing a cleaner. A few weeks ago I did just that. She is from foreign climbs. I had to let her go though, as she took 8 hours to hoover my living room carpet.
She was from Slovak!!!!

My partner has been signed off for a further week as she has full blown flu. However she has gone back to her mum's so is getting looked after well. I however have been charged with looking after her budgie. My car is now full of feathers as the cage fell off the back seat when I was driving. The budgie seems to be SAS trained as she survived the journey without a scratch.

My old dad's birthday tomorrow. He was not in when I dropped his card off so I built a Snowman in his front garden. It is sure to wind his partner up, a lady who I don't always see eye to eye with.

Another night of playing with myself! as once more a Concert has been cancelled. I wonder if someone died at home and we said we couldn't come, that they would understand????

R.I P. Leslie (don't call me Shirley) Neilson

True Grit Two

After a pleasant weekend, my first job this morning was to prep a rather bad body. It certainly whisked away the good comfort and warmth of the weekend. The most disconcerting aspect of doing this alone, is sometimes one of the eyes open. Albeit slowly, but it still gives an uncomfy feeling. As my Grandad said. 'It isn't the dead that hurt you, it's the living' and how true that is.

Because band was cancelled, I managed to put in a paltry 40 minutes practice last night. It would seem that I will have to do even more, as Tuesday is cancelled as well, as they are preempting more snow. I would fight through 40 foot snow drifts to play!!

Above is my great great Uncle, a chap by the name of Hugh Jarce. Trombonist extraordinaire apart from getting the bell of his instrument stuck in the toilet seat (. Easy done when you practice in the bog?? ) he was a fine player, although he could only play pieces that had the notes on first position as he did not know the other 6.
His life was tragically taken in the Valentines day Massacre. He wasn't a gangster, but lived next door to the shootings and went outside to complain about the noise. Sad!!!!

True Grit

Went to a very enjoyable party last night. It was one where we all had a wee in the living room. Ok it's pronounced wii I think, but great fun, as me and the female vocalist thrashed it out on ten pin bowls and then skiing? We all struggled through the centimeter of snow to the 'do' and the host's had provided a great buffet and a music quiz that stumped most of us. I confused James Stewart with Tommy Dorsey...unforgivable. I did however get one lyric correct, but that's only because I had sung Minnie the Moocher.

A few more wandering zombies at the local shopping area this morning. The whole area had been closed by scores of police cars and officers. As one Policeman told me 'it's a major, major incident' He would not let me through to get my Sunday Pot Noodle though? How selfish is that.

No Band tonight as the icy conditions has stopped some folk getting out of their drives? How times have changed since the Glenn Miller story, where everyone made it through a 15 foot blizzard?

Foot in Mouth

Whatever next?
Apparently sex shops are selling sex aids for dogs now?
It's an inflatable human leg!!!!

I have been to my first Xmas fayre of the year today. I came away feeling quite humbled. I was chatting to a guy who was asking about my job. Even though I was getting nudged in the ribs by my partner (she had to nudge me because she has lost her voice....it's great!!!) I went on and on as he asked the questions.
I was told afterwards that he only has got a few years to live. This rather upset me, as he is a nice guy and is only young, but he never gave a clue that he only had a short time to live. I wish the ground had opened and swallowed me up.

I know now, why I do all my chrimbo shopping in October. I went on to town (and my partner back to bed) and it was chocker with stressed folk looking for ideas for presents. The only problem with this is all the bogs are full as well. Sure enough, 20 minutes after lunch I had to run to the facilities and queue!!!!! It ain't getting any easier.

Tried my new snow shoes out today and they worked a treat as I did not slip . Trouble is they are a bugger to drive in and although I did not land on my arse I nearly crashed the car!!!

We Three Queen's

Today we had an apprentice lady minister spending the day with us. We had to fill in a questionnaire and answer questions. It was extremely therapeutic and it was surprising how much we know (well it surprised me) We took her to see some of the bodies and then made her a hot sweet tea as I think she was a bit shaky. Sometimes I think this would be a good 'cure' for Drink Drivers/Mobile phone users/speeders etc who take lives. Maybe it would be a wake up call.

I sat down to watch a film I had been looking forward to last night. It was called 'Nativity' and the write up made it out to be a 'feel good' film. It was awful and instead of feeling Festive I felt more like Festering. So much so that I wrote a film review on line. It is obvious that our sentiments have changed somewhat to the season of goodwill. When the end scenes have children burping and other things how can that make you feel good.

I did not practice last night as got distracted trying to wire up a loft heater. I managed to get it to smoke??? but that was it.

Tom

I wonder what the word for 'dot's' looks like in Braille???

My partner is down with 'lady flu' and I seem to have eaten something that has put my poor old tum into a volcanic state? Will I ever learn. I bought some cubed ginger as I heard it is good for the old innards??? However this seems to have been fiery ginger and it feels as if it has removed the lining from my stomach? I must stick to bland as I am safer with that.

Again I question if my thoughts are right are wrong. Having dressed a body some weeks ago I was embarrassed that the clothes they had brought in contained a very lacy thong? I can only get my head around this if the person themselves requested this? Do family's not realise what it takes to dress a body? Always we carry out the task with dignity and professionalism, but we all look at each other and wonder if it's right?


The big boys are still trying to swallow up the small businesses and most of the traditional small firms are feeling the pinch. I have worked for the 'Big Boys' so I have seen both sides and I know which I prefer.

Geruptah Sing

A question on a show last night was, name as many musical instruments beginning with 'S'.
One of the obscure one's was 'Sitar' the Indian stringed instrument.
Not may people know that there is a smaller version of this called. The Baby Sitar'!!

I am enjoying my playing once more and it is so good not to have to wear ear plugs. I can hear the whole band and myself (ok the last one may not be so good) and more importantly, I am going to bed without ringing ears. So the stands are really money well spent.

Lost my street cred last night as in the Band break, I took the Band leaders dog out for a walk. the dog was wearing a fluffy pink coat.......luckily I did not bump into anyone. However, how a small dog like that, can produce so much poo, is beyond me. I nearly had to hire a JCB!!!!

Duke Nuke

I have about 4 books on the go at the moment. I am reading the story of script writer Harold Snoad in bed. I am reading soldiers story from WW1 in my Gym. I am reading a ghost book in the bog (this could explain a few things actually!) and at work, a book about North Korea! So my ears pricked up this morning when my phone alerted me to a News Flash, that they had started shelling the South. Oh so dangerous. Not many UK people have been to the North and those that have, were shocked by it's secrecy and sparseness. Many of the citizens were seen cutting the road side grass...with scissors? The only light moments are supping rice wine. And we think we have it hard?
If there is civilisation on other planets ,then no wonder they have not visited, as this is such an unstable world?

I have spent 5 hours today in the Coffin shop, lining and handling coffins. Very cold. Very lonely. Very p**sed off.

A married couple I know are deliberating weather to have a dog or a child. They can't decide if they want to ruin their carpets or their lives!!!

Gonzales

A local Schizophrenic group were going to put on a Xmas Panto. It had to be cancelled when someone shouted 'He's behind you'?

Don't know what was happening last night at Band, but it seemed that almost every number went wrong. It was a long night before,so we can only put it down to tiredness I suppose.

Still extremely quiet in the Funeral World, but was promoted to hearse driver today. Although we were running on time, a mourner at the house was waving frantically,saying we were going to be late. I don't think we have ever been late on a Funeral of our own doing. As it was I travelled at 25 mph and still had time to spare when we got there.

Still they are voting for the poor woman nutritionist in Celebrity Get me out. People really are extremely cruel. Mind you if you look like that by eating well, then I will stick to my Black Pudding and Chips.

Godiva

A friend of mine has had a nasty accident.
Somehow he managed to get a vacuum cleaner attachment lodged in his bum.
I rang the hospital to see how he was and they told me that he was picking up nicely?

Nice gig last night. Great stage, superb Dance Floor, band played very well and yet it was a 'hard work audience'?

It's strange how it can turn out like this. Don't get me wrong, they were appreciative but there was something missing that would have made a great night a superb night. Maybe they were overwhelmed with the stunning looks of the bone section?

Been to the new refurbished supermarket today. They have spent hundreds of thousands putting a new sign up and moving the same goods to a different position. Money well spent me thinks!!!!

Hen's Husband

A naughty joke does not go as well if you have to leave the rude word out. There is a plethora of risque jokes going around about Kate and William. To prove a point I will relate a rude joke without the proper word.
Kate Middleton went to the Queen and said to her. 'Every time I suck Williams ear lobe,I get acid indigestion' To which the Queen replies 'Have you tried Andrews'?
See, it somewhat loses it by changing the rude appendage for a more acceptable one. Still it made me laugh.

Borrowed a dog today for a Winters walk in the mud. Trouble is I forgot to wipe my feet when I took him back and spent the next half hour trying to scrub the persons carpet clean before they got back.

A classic example of bullying is taking place on the TV at the moment. I'm a Celebrity' has one contestant who is scared of everything. So the great British public keep voting her to do tasks. It is a sort of a modern day version of the Gladiator ring, where people got pleasure out of seeing someone hurting? Not made much progress have we?

Snoad under

It is always sad when a young person dies. it is more tragic therefore when someone takes their own life and with no apparent reason.
Hundreds of mourners turned out to say goodbye and all had one question. Why?
The thing is, no one knew what was so traumatic in this persons life, to make them choose to end it. If they could have seen the outpouring of love for them, would it have made them reconsider?
Probably not, as only they knew what was happening inside their mind. They say that the eyes are the window to the soul and maybe the answer lies there. Tragically, no one will ever know.

Went to a play last night. At the side of the stage was a lady signing for the deaf. It was no distraction at all. The only strange thing was, that in the small audience I never noticed anyone looking at her, nor did I notice anyone in the bar signing to each other. I suppose it would have been embarrassing to go around asking everyone before the show you started 'Are you deaf' especially if the response was 'pardon'

Being sent to Coventry over the weekend. Playing in the Band there and spookily I am reading a book about the making of the comedy 'keeping up Appearances' They filmed the outside of Onslow's house on a Council Estate there. Might pop up and say hello. 'Nice'

Sex and Gamblers anonymous

So I asked my partner, how old she thought I looked.
Well , she replied. Looking at your physique 38. The tone of your skin 30. hey I replied that's great. Hang on she said,I haven't finished adding them up yet?
Nice.
Amazing though, that when you finish growing at both ends, you start to grow in the middle?
Going bald does not help and I wondered if any animals actually go bald. I mean if a Bear had thinning hair, would it be called Fred Bear.
The worst thing about getting old though is, first you start to forget names. Then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull your zip up!!! But worse of all, you forget to pull it down. Maybe I will move to Eastbourne. This place caters for the older folk. Even the shop windows are made of Bi Focal Glass.
I got my own back though when my partner asked me if I thought men still looked at her boobs. I said of course, but they have to stoop down low......

Siamese

At last some heart warming news. Two are to become one. What a wonderful love story to brighten this gloomy winter. They have been so much in love and now they are finally going to be joined together.
Yes folks, our Trumpet player is having his Wallet Argon Welded to his left leg!!!.

I really enjoyed the blow last night and even dipped my little toe into the small pool of solo's. Now this is no mean feat, sat next to the master, believe me. It was also nice to be offered to dep for him in the Rat Pack tour. An offer I wont be taking up due to other commitments, but was nice to be asked never the less.

I nearly killed my boss yesterday as we were moving some particularly heavy rocks. Now most people stand up straight after bending down. However he stood up to the right as I was hurling a rock to the left and it hit him on the bonce. As we were on our own it struck me (well him actually) that if I had killed him, would they have believed it was an accident.

I like a laugh and have been known to take the mickey sometimes.
I was in a well known Supermarket which I can't name, but it as da be pretty famous?
I picked up some cooked Chicken legs and asked one of the staff if they were back legs or front legs? She said she did not know, but would go and ask,,,,,,,,

Who was that

If I said the name Delia Derbyshire, would that mean anything to you??
Probably not, but there is a good chance that you will have heard one of her Compositions.
She composed the music to Dr Who.
The sounds that she created were years ahead of her time and she was in great demand in the Radio Workshop constructing futuristic sounds for TV programmes.
Trouble was, she never got recognised and received no credit for the Time Travelling programme. So much so that she left the BBC in disgust and became a recluse. She unfortunately turned to alcohol and died of Cancer! Taken for granted she died a very lonely lady and yet her music has caused so much excitement in kids young and old. How sad that no one could have praised her work,

A friend of mine has got addicted to drinking Brake Fluid.
He says he can stop at anytime though!

Duo

And in the beginning, the world was without form and void.
God said 'Let there be light' And God separated the light from the dark.
And did two loads of washing.

Out and about yesterday and I sat next to a blind chap and his guide dog. Long chat with him ( and very long stroke of his dog) and a small world it was proven to be. He is a big fan of Big Bands and Trombones!!! Anyway I have now introduced him to our Band and hope he will come along and have a listen.
Five minutes later I bumped into another musician and had another long chat. This was a great day as I was with the missus (yes the missus) and she was shopping so the time flew past. Now to me that is civilised shopping.

Forget me not

I suppose it is poignant today, that I use a phrase that typifies communication and was used in the Trenches.
The story goes that a message was sent down the trenches , being passed by word of mouth from soldier to soldier. The message was........ 'Send reinforcements we are going to advance'
By the time it passed down the line to the 100th soldier, he reported to his Commander, stood to attention and relayed.
'Send three and fourpence, we are going to a dance'

Now the same sort of thing happened last night at the Concert. It was a small Band gig with only 4 sax's...however 5 turned up!!!
It was a remembrance Concert in Dinner Jacket, however one of our guys turned up in full American Uniform!!!!!!!! No change in over 60 years then!!!

B*** Baffles brains

To be fair on the 10 teenagers who jumped out of a plane over Arnhem, they restored my faith a tad. More impressive, is they all landed without injury. Mind you they had 10 days of training and proper kit, not jumping off a table 3 hours before leaping out of the Cessna, like me???

Absolutely bored stiff (not a good word for an Undertaker) today, as no work on. So as we called it in the Army, it was Interior Economy' day today. Which basically means cleaning everything that did not move? (I never painted rocks white, but know of those that did)

It being Winter we are too quiet really. If things don't pick up soon, I will be having to get employment as a domestic.
I have not done much playing over the last few days. Ten minutes at most, so hope my lip holds this weekend.

Rip

A fascinating programme on the box where they are trying to get some teenagers to train and parachute into Arnhem as in the Second World War.
Slight difference here as 3 of the youths have been kicked off the course for sniffing solvents already???
They are already missing their iPods/X box's/Mobile Phones and makeup (the girls that is) and the course is only 10 days long!!!!
One wonders, if another War broke out, if Britain still has the pride and backbone to stick together?
I somehow doubt as we seem to have become a selfish Nation and I wonder where it all went wrong.
I think that it is all down to greed and laziness and the only way forward is to get the kids out playing again and not sat in front of the box 24/7. If we can educate the next generation then maybe we have a chance?

Sign here

Since old Harold Shipman started his antics, the paperwork required to arrange Funerals has tripled. On release of a body from hospital a form must be acquired signed by 2 doctors saying they have seen the body. The process is...see the body....fill out the form. However a few of the Doc's are cutting corners by signing the forms first!!
This happened to one poor Undertaker who had come all the way from Newcastle to fetch a body. The paperwork had been signed so he was allowed to take the body. However when he returned to the Brown Ale country he had a telephone call saying he must bring the body back as the doctor had signed but not seen!!!!
Now this happened to us today and I took the call. We were about 8 miles from the hospital and 2 miles away from base. They wanted us to take the body back as...guess what...the doc had not seen the body. Now pick what happened.
1. We took the body back
2. We made the doctor come out to us!!!!!!!

A poem sent to me.

They joined for many reasons, to march, to sail, to fly.
They went where they were posted, but nobody joined to die
Their leaders plead on TV, what else could we have done?
But those leaders lost no daughters and none has lost a son.
So here's to all our soldiers, wherever they may be and here's to all their families as I raise a glass to thee.

Lest we Forget.

Snug

I don't usually watch to many soaps, but had to watch the demise of poor old Jack Duckworth. His end was peaceful and filmed very tastefully, with even his departed wife Vera coming to fetch him. They even managed a slow dance before he set off on his eternal journey, guided by Vera.
Oh if only it could always be like that?

You have to feel for the person who walks his dog in the woods. A few years ago he stumbled across someone who had committed suicide. Spookily he has done the same thing recently (I think I would have changed my route) but this time the authorities were suspicious because he happened to be at the same place again where a body was found. How distressing must that be.
There are Soap death's and the real deaths and they are worlds apart!!

Jungle Book

I am not a happy teddy at the moment and can only put it down to the season, my aching teeth and a complaining tum? I did not play well last night in Song of India, but managed to crawl back some form of credibility in ‘The way we were’ To be fair on myself, the Dorsey number rocked somewhat in the second section lead in to the solo, so a wobble from all the Band ensued. So am not beating myself up so badly this time.

I also know I am out of sorts, because I have had an e-mail from Lottery HQ saying that they have exciting news about a Lottery ticket I purchased last Saturday. Now the first time I received one of these messages I became a tad hyperactive. You see, the first time they contacted me, they used the words ‘We have news about your lottery ticket’ Now any news to me is good news, so with bated breath I logged into my account. Only to find that I had won a tenner? Ok a win is a win and to be honest I was very pleased. However, imagine my joy when a few months later I received an e-mail saying ‘We have Exciting news about your lottery ticket. Exciting?? Has to be better than just ‘news’s’ surely. But no. It was another tenner and they had just changed the wording to pray on every man’s gambling instincts, ensuring you would add funds to buy more tickets. So this Sunday morning as I logged on, In popped the ‘exciting news’ e-mail. I am writing this draft at 12.30am Monday morning and have still not logged in to find out what I have won. You see, I could be sitting here a millionaire………..or maybe I have 5 and the bonus and have won thousands. Or even 4 numbers and have won sixty quid plus. You see, what should really happen is that they send out an e-mail saying ‘f*** me log in quick, your life has just changed drastically’ So until then or unless they ring me, I will make them wait and still feel like a millionaire?

Snooker

I was at a loose end yesterday. My girlfriend had gone off to Surrey on a 'How to murder your partner in 25 different way's' course!!! so I was left on my own.
Then I remembered a card that had been pushed through my letter box. It was a free invite to shop at a hyper market that is usually only open to the trade. I had seen some batteries advertised for cheap so I thought I would go an buy some.
There were no hand baskets available so I took a Trolley. 40 minutes later the trolley was full to overflowing. I had gone round thinking 'oooh that's nice'!!!! and buying all sorts of things, I thought I would need. The worse part was joining the mile long queues to the till. It took about as long to get there as to shop, but with a sense of relief I handed my free pass to the check out operator. He gave a sharp intake of breath and said 'Sorry mate, you need to take this to reception show them 3 types of ID and a utility bill and fill out a form' I replied very politely 'But it doesn't say that on the invitation' The till operator laughed 'No sir'
So here is the question. Did I.
1. Abandon my shopping, drive home to get utility bill' drive back and fill in form, rejoin the now 2 mile long queue
or
B. Make such a fuss that they let me through.

Your guess on a postcard to:- Mr Don't Mess me about I have had a bad week. 17 The Grump. Whingedale.

Light up the Sky (or not)

I have often said, that some folk live their lives as in the film Groundhog Day. They have meals at the same time every day. Do their washing on the same day every week. They also visit the same shops and strength prevail if anything knocks them off course.
So today I can prove this theory.
In the small town that I live, their are about 20 or so shops. One of them is a fairly large Supermarket. Recently bought out by another company, they are now closed for a week for refurbishment. I watched as some folk wandered round in a zombie like state having been dislodged from their usual pattern of activity.
All around the premises is scaffolding and a large wire fence. The door to the Supermarket is open where you can see the workmen beavering (no relation to the Groundhog) away. However there is a small gap between the wire fence and the wall. I watched an old couple looking puzzled that they could not go on their usual tram line into the entrance that they had used for years. However they spotted the gap.
I watched and listened in amazement as the old dear said 'Well, we have never had to go in this way before' as they started to squeeze between the fence and the wall!!!!
Did I do anything????
Of course I did (if you don't know me by now etc etc). I shouted 'Oy.....the shops shut. There is a big clue here with the fence'
Bless them, they did get the message, but also confirmed to me that some folk live in a pre programmed bubble???

Last night we had fireworks. back to my childhood (actually I have never left it) and I spent £10 on a medium size box. (I can't say the name because of advertising, but they were a fairly STANDARD size box!!) We might as well have bought a box of Swann Vesta matches. Lit them and thrown them in the air. Miserable sparks and fizzes that lasted 5 seconds (bit like my love life) and it was all over. However next door was like Beirut. The earth was shaking with the deafening bangs and the rockets almost went into orbit. Goodness knows how much they cost but of course their is a recession on...or is there?

Duck

So there I am thinking nothing would happen today. My mate comes running in and tells me that there are 2 policemen looking at my car. I went out and sure enough they were giving it the once over. Straight away i am thinking if my Insurance was up to date or I had Tax. But no. They had spotted an old Police Jacket in the back of my car. Now it does not say Police on it, but it does have the blue and white chequered pattern, of which an inch was showing. So would I be done for trying to impersonate a Police Officer?? Did they think I was going around knocking on old ladies door's to do a security check, then nick their pension books.????
Nope. They told me that someone might damage my car if they thought I was a member of the Law? It was a little naughty of me having it in the back window. But do you know what? I have seen loads of people suddenly putting their Mobile Phones down while driving, so just doing my bit for safety on the roads.
Evening All!

Weeeee

As Undertakers we take life very seriously and never have time to have a laugh as it is a such a sombre job?? However, occasionally, we have to let go? (You will have to view this full size to see what's happening!!)
Myself and a work colleague are trying to organise an all night vigil in a Haunted House. If they give us permission, we aim to do it in the first part of 2011. We would gain sponsorship for a local charity and get some coverage in the press. We would take recording and digital photo equipment just in case. If it is anything like what has happened to my phone since being in the house (I can't do Internet stuff at all now) then we will also need 'wind up' torches, just in case.
At this time we are still awaiting permission from the owners. I think the only thing that will scare me, will be, the unshaven face of my work mate leering down at me in the morning.
This morning I set off early and did a 5 mile detour to bypass the traffic lights. Only thing is, they had taken the traffic lights down and I could have gone the normal route!!!!

Pulled

A strange thing happened last night. After the first half of the Big band Concert I went for a walk.
Sat ouside and hundled up to the patio heater, were 3 gorgeous young girls..
As I came close to them, one said.
'I would not mind going to bed with you beside me. Your so cute'

Very flattered, I was going to make a 'Bond' style reply. when I realised that I had taken the Band Leaders small puppy out for a walk with me!!!! Oh well, it was nice while it lasted.

As we pulled up at the Crematorium today, 4 people were talking and laughing right next to the Hearse. As we placed the Coffin on our shoulders, they were still laughing. When we came out they were still stood there, noisily talking. They had already been on the Funeral before. To make matters worse, they had a Vicar with them.
Did I say anything???
What do you think. I betcha they never do it again and have a bit more respect next time.

mental note to myself.
'Must get a puppy'

Guy

Getting into the Bonfire Spirit of this week. My partner had bought some sparklers to light last night.
We both sat around her dining table for 2 hours and discussed the Health and Safety implications of lighting them.
We then went out to B and Q and purchased 2 flame retardant suits, a hard hat and a fire extinguisher.
We also purchased a large bin to fill with water to place the extinguished firework.
By the time we got home it was 1am, so to late to do anything??

We contacted the Council to ask about the 3 rocks that had fallen on the pavement causing traffic chaos and temporary traffic lights.
They replied that an insurance ombudsman had been contacted and he should be at the incident within 3 weeks!!!! Out of the hundreds of cars with fuming drivers, ours was the only phone call they had received to complain!!! Apathy sweet apathy.

It took me 1 hour to travel the 10 miles of work today.
If your happy and you know it.......move some rocks!!!!

Balboa

I had to ditch my car this morning and walk to work. After being at the same spot for half an hour in a traffic jam, I knew I would never make work on time. The tail back was horrendous and all because a few rocks had fallen out of someones wall onto the pavement...on Sunday!!!!
So they stuck up temporary traffic lights,that brought gridlock to the small town I was trying to get into.
No doubt they had to call a meeting and sit around a table to discuss the health and safety implications, before they could shovel the half dozen rocks or so, into a trailer.
At 3pm this afternoon they had still not started work.
What has happened to this Country.
'Oooh we can't move that bit of stone, in case we scratch a finger and have to claim'......

Needless to say, I will have the same tomorrow and try and find another way around, of which all the other motorists will be trying to do. When I did get to work it was straight into stitching and dressing bodies.....What happened to the peace and serenity of last week?

Good rehearsal last night and a lot of ground covered. We even did a blast from the past called 'March of the Mod's
I knew the tune, but for the life of me, can't remember what dance they used to do to it.
Answers on a post card please.