Heavy Petting

A man was talking to his mate in the pub.
He said 'I spent some time next to the Wife's grave yesterday.
'She doesn't know. She thinks I am digging a swimming pool!!!

I always go to Tuesday Band without my partner, so I hope she does not find out the next bit.

As soon as I walked into the Concert room, I spotted this gorgeous female. I introduced myself as soon as I walked into the room and could not wait until the interval, so that I could spend more time with her.
The first half passed so slowly, but finally the break came.
For the next 15 minutes she sat contented on my lap, whilst I whispered sweet nothings in her ear.

Ok. Truth is, the Band Leaders wife had a new puppy and she was only a few weeks old, so I offered to dog sit her while they went in the Restaurant bar.
It really made my night.

After 2 e mails to the RSPCA asking if I could volunteer dog walk on my break, I have had no replies. So sod em, I am now taking them out of my will.

Dentist tomorrow and a replacement filling, so no playing that night, but lots of dribbling..no change there then!