Wednesday, 1 September 2010

Modesty Blazer

Cricket News Just in......Somerset have beaten Pakistan by 5 wickets next Thursday.

You will never change my opinion on dressing bodies in clothes. I find it thoroughly undignified (especially for the Females) and the only exceptions should be for those that have asked for it or burials.
I mean, if eternity exists and you only have one set of clothes then it is hoped they are hard wearing.
I am sure they will have their own outlets up there. Like. Heavens (for the larger Female) Harps and Spencers (for those with asbestos wallets) and 'Gone for a Burton's'!!!!. People will probably say 'Well it is the Families choice' Well yes it is, but surely you need to be in receipt of all the information before you make that choice. Did the prim Aunty Doris (any resemblance to anyone living or dead is a bloody coincidence believe me) really want two hairy blokes (not me of course) staring at her lady allotment ,whilst we try and slip her pants on over wet and cold legs???? Sorry but I just don't get it. Bodies are cold, wet and if they have had postmortems, then bloody. the hospital leave cannula's in and liquids sometimes come out of most orifice's. I remember once , that even though we had been extremely careful, we accidentally got a spot of blood on a white shirt. The family were not best pleased even though the deceased had been through the mill of a terrible illness and a post mortem. Pleaseeeeee think about it first.

Outside the yard today I found a sandwich. I thought 'I will have that ,as it looks alright' As I bent to pick it up, I noticed a wire coming from it???
It looked suspicious so I rang the Police. They asked me 'Is it Ticking'
'No' I replied 'I think it's Beef'

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