Appolo

I purchased the whole series of Dad' Army not so long ago. I am slowly working my way through them. It is always amazes me that Clive Dunn plays an old man in the comedy. In fact he was only in his 50s and looked 70!!! he is one of the few still alive as well. Also the theme tune is Conducted by Trevor Sharpe and officer who put the fear of God in me ,as he always looked very severe and strict and I would not liked to have played a 'bum' note in his presence. I have just returned from a trip to Town. This Saturday is a million times better that last Sat. However I could spot no signs of a recession as Town was leaping. I had a very splendid lunch in the Greek Restaurant of warm chicken salad yum. Living the dream lol.

Promise

I wonder if you realise that when you are buried (presuming you are dead!) you will be facing to the east. That is, imagine if you stood the coffin upright from the grave onto the foot end then you would be looking East (although the chances of you seeing anything are very slim. )This means therefore when you are in a Cemetery and you see Headstones back to back then one row will have the stone at the foot end. Today a strange thing happened when someone found this out and wanted the body exhuming and turning around??? This has never happened before in our knowledge. If you think of the phrase Rest in Peace then this would be a travesty in real terms. Our bodies are shells when we leave them and it is our souls that pass on. After a bit of talking and reassuring it is assumed that the people who requested this have had second thoughts. An exhumation is usually done in the early hours so as not to alarm passers by. Reports of Burke and Hare in the Graveyard do not go down well. Also present would be an Environmental rep, the police and of course the Clergy. My mate exhumed a body that had been down for a few years, and the head came off. Not nice so best to be left in peace and not in pieces ,don't you think?

Willows

Now us Brass players take extraordinary amounts of air into our bodies to enable us to blow our instruments! Not all of the air is used up though and can remain trapped in the body, causing a very strange feeling. The only way to dispel the excess is to let rip. Now my mate in the Band can trump for England but nothing could prepare him for the extraordinary incident he was about to experience? Whilst out driving he felt the onset of a build up of toxic gas within his body. Having no passengers with him, he decided he would brew the oncoming chuff and let rip with a mighty burst of enthusiasm (always a great laugh at parties) thus he let go producing a mighty blast of methane gas. Now here comes the weird part. As he did so, one the windows of his car in the back came down and his boot opened!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wow. I told him that it could be Fartegeist activity. It's like Poltergeist activity but much more smellier. Now if you do not believe me then come along and see the OBB and ask him yourself cos it's true.

Admit One

I would like to think, that if I dropped a boll*ck. that I would put my hand up and admit to it. Unlike the gentleman last night who forgot to stand up for his solo after mine and played in the wrong place. However as my radar is forever scanning, i heard him say to the Band Leader that it was my fault. On getting a second opinion form other musicians they all knew it was his fault, but he did not have the bottle to admit to it. I hope that when i get to the age that he is (if) I will still have my integrity intact.

Standards

Out for a meal last night to celebrate my partners Birthday. For saying I had lack of kip, I had a really nice night and great meal. At work today we did a member of the Emergency services Funeral. he was only in his 50s and died of Cancer. Which brings me on to a celebrity that is in the news at the moment and is doing as many interviews etc to get money for her children. Whilst I have sympathy for the girls condition I do not think it is right that millions will be made from someone who was famous (sic!) for 5 minutes on the telly. Especially with the history involved etc. This guy has family who I am sure could do with more money and he put his life at risk to rescue people. I am incensed by it all, and my work colleagues agree as I am sure others do but are too scared to voice it in this PC world.

Blind Date

I should have gone to a rehearsal last night but after the week I had ,I needed a night in to try and recharge. I felt a lot better about myself when i had a text from another member of the Band who missed the rehearsal because he fell asleep on the sofa after a particularly trying Day!!! He can sleep for England as well. I say that I decided to be kind to myself, but I did look at the next show pad which is a doddle compared to the last one. Back to work today and there was none. Another thing that is on my mind is the possibility of no job. If no work comes in, no wages can come out. If I can keep my mind occupied I am am ok, but if there is no work what do you do? As we come to the spring and summer work drops off anyway and seeing as I am last in (not really as a member of the family came in to the business) I will be first out. Mind you I would face the challenge and do my best to get something else as quick as possible. Maybe I will become a male escort for short sighted women. Now theirs a thought!

Van Winkle Not

My week has been completely spoilt because of the ever recurring sleep problems. If I average it out I have slept 3 hours every night, but it is the ever present anxiety and hatred of it that makes it worse. I know there are millions of us that have this but it gets more frightening every time. On the Friday night I was exhausted but still only got to 3am before being wide awake. the thought of doing 2 shows the next day seemed impossible (as it always does) but I survived. I need now to pursue every avenue I can to get rid of this thing. It is such a deep seated problem that things like Aromatherapy and herbal wont touch it so I need to delve deeper me thinks.

Fight the Fear

So last night I had a whopping 5 hours sleep. I decided at 5.30am that I was going to go on a 2-3 mile walk whatever the weather. I did and as always exercises is the answer. Although on my help web site I recommend this, it is not always easy when you haven't slept for a while. your body and mind is screaming for rest so it is the last thing you feel you need to do...only it is the first thing you should do. Tonight's show call went great and really enjoyed it it is always the same, come the middle of the week i want it to go on forever. Once I realise I am not going to make a complete prat of myself, it all comes together. Now if only I could accept this at the start of show week? I have just received the pad for the next show I am doing, but I can't be ar*ed to look at it until I have finished this one. Again it is one I have not done before. Actually it shows you how inexperienced I am when the Bass player of the show says he did 14 shows last year!!!! Wow how can you not fail to get into the groove when you do that many?
Whatever happens, i would not change a thing no matter how bad I get. It has to be fought and although I may not win, I will not let it, beat me.
I cant believe that a year has passed since I lost someone I can only describe as my second Father. I tell people at Funerals that time heals. Unfortunately the healing process can take a long long time. He was a very very good man and I miss him dearly and I would give anything to get him back for my partner.

Billy Cotton

Ok so I am a born worrier. When I snuff it, there is bound to be someone who say's 'eeeh it was worry that killed him' and probably they will be right. Again my sleep is absolutely minimal. I don't even know what I am worrying about. Ok the show is a little bit edge of the seat stuff in places, but i haven't dropped any major b***cks. However for the last few nights I have been going to bed at midnight, only to be wide awake at 3am and that is it for the night. I am off work, so i thought that maybe some sofa time would help....as I shut my eyes a neighbour rang my doorbell. neighbours never ring my doorbell, but oh no she had to pick the time that I was just drifting off. I could not be arsed to get up and see what she wanted. Did I get any kip...nope....will i get any tonight...probably not, But you know what ,I am still going. On reserve, but still going. Insomnia has been the curse of my life, and i don't think i will ever be free of it. I would swap 6 numbers on the lottery to be free and get a good nights sleep.......dream on, only I can't. Oh well, at least I get a longer day than everyone else.

Von Trapp

Up early to go to show rehearsal. Only 7 in the orchestra, so quite a blow and it seems they had all done the show before. So after not blinking for 2 hours I got through it. I don't do headaches but tonight my brain was pounding through my ears during the Royal Oak Concerts. It was great then to get a lift from a fellow musician allowing me to have a beer or two for medicinal purposes. the pounding head did not recede but I didn't give a hoot after 2 pints of Stella whey hey. Going into work Monday to do one Funeral of a real nice man and musician .Such a loss.

Stand and

Had some 'shed' time with my Dad this morning (I wonder if I will buy a shed when I get older??) We catch up on the weeks happenings etc. He was really impressed with an MP3 player my partner had bought me, and I think he is going out to buy one. Cool or what?
Spent the day cleaning out the fish and defrosting the fridge? (Or was that cleaning the fridge and defrosting the fish!) Romantic or what. Managed a half hour practice and start the show Sunday so a busy week ahead. We are having a Chinese in tonight. I rang the local take away and asked them if they deliver. They said no...they do beef and chicken but no liver???

Egg

Writing this from work so very naughty. I have kept my head down today as it is the notorious Fri 13th and after already bumping my head this week (no protection) I thought I would play safe. Seeing it is Valentines day tomorrow I thought I would have a romantic weekend in Paris. I told my partner not to worry as I would bring her something nice back. Actually it is a dangerous time the 14th Feb. I remember last year one of my work colleagues was sent a card by a mystery admirer, his wife went ape and took ages to forgive him. Luckily I only have one card..the one I send myself, so no complications there.

Take Hart

Expensive month old February, what with Valentines and Birthdays all coming at once. I have been out to buy 12 red roses for my loved one today, I might even get my girlfriend some as well lol.
Yesterday I had a flap on as for the first time in my life I became bankrupt!!!! it was only for 4 hours and was a cock up on the Banks side, but it was very scary at the time. I am pleased to say that the £34.50p is now safe in my account phew!!

Wind

A couple of solos last night, but I can't say that I am pleased with my playing. It is strange, but the passion seems to have disappeared. I still practice religiously every day but my flexibility is crap at this time? Am I worried??? Well no not really. You see, being the person I am, I have never liked myself and always feared dropping a major b****ck. As the fear has always been worse than reality,I figure it's time I did drop a major te***icle and actually see what happens? Now a major Goo*y to me is splitting or fluffing a note. I hate it as most of the tunes I solo on are well known. You can get away with it in jazz, but a well known tune has no hiding place??? Drummers can get away with it as can Bass guitars etc cos they never really do popular solos and how can you get a wrong note on the drums? Singers can get away with ad lib words sometimes, but us brass and reed players are out on a limb. Funny then that drummers and singers always get the most applause. I think I have explained that in a previous blog as the audience figure they understand the drum and voice as they can hit things and sing in the bath. As for brass and reed all they think is ,we move a slide, push a valve or key, blow and the sound just comes out!!! Ah well, bring on the next solo.

Coffee

I have gone from rushing around like the proverbial blue derriere fly to trying to find something to do. We only did one Funeral today so most of my time has been spent in the very cold coffin shop, handling and lining coffins. It is then that you start to dream of Lottery wins and warmer climbs? I dressed the Gentleman that I know and his dear wife has paid her last respects. The write up in the paper for him was marvelous and he was a well loved man. I think everyone should have a potted history written about what they have achieved in life. In Kenya it is standard in the obituary columns. Tonight I will be playing in the Big Band for the first time in 2 weeks? It seems much longer so I hope I get an easy night?

Snow stopping us now

There is a scene in the Glenn Miller story where the band are trying to get to a gig through a snow storm. They all just about make it playing 'Over the rainbow' as a combo until all the Band were in situ. Unfortunately we could not recreate that last night as the snow stopped some players who lived in the 'sticks' making the gig. We managed to contact all but one member of the Band to tell them that it was off. Unfortunately a Trumpet player made it all the way to the pub, as he had heard a rumour there might be a free drink?
Touching today as I had to do a burial of ashes of a young woman. Her daughter who was very young, bravely put the ashes into their final resting place. It is on these occasions that the job is hard as you just wanted to give her a big hug, But in this PC world we live in it is not allowed!

Decaff

An extremely pleasant day out for coffee and cake. Apart from wanting to live by the sea, i would also like to run a little tea room there. No fry ups or all day breakfast ,but Coffee and Cake. Music in the background would change between swing and chill to add to the ambiance? Just enough room to fit a small Band in for special occasions? Dream on!!!

Mary

My partner is 15 years younger than me. With all the snow we have been having we decided to have a snowball fight....after 5 minutes there was some wheezing puffing and panting, but she kept up bless her!
Had a nice afternoon in Tutbury today. The castle there is great and boasts one of the most haunted rooms in England. Visitors have fainted and seen things in the small upper bedroom. I would love to spend the night there and see what happens. I once had an experience with an Ouija board that was extremely disturbing.
Sun is back to Big Band night and all my practice has been geared around Concert work so I need to try and get a more flexible lip going before that.

Drain

After listing 70+ floral tributes today i realised what an utter waste of money it was. At an average of £40 per tribute, how much more good would that money do to a health charity like Heart or Cancer. I still think family flowers should be sent, but why not make all the rest donations? The flowers after the funeral are usually just left to rot? At one Crematorium the rabbits eat them during the night?
A very busy and strange day today. I wish the show would hurry up and start as I want to get cracking now, although I have not had that much time to look at the dots.

Wear Wolf ? There Wolf

I had to drive all the way to work today in second gear!!! I made it though even beating some of the local lads in, but I have to say that i saw some shocking driving today. Even though the conditions were bad we completed every Funeral without incident. Everyone who knows me, knows that I love dogs. Just before I knocked off today, a lady came into pay a bill. tying her old dog to the railings outside. I asked her if it was friendly, she said yes, but a bit lively. She told me the name of the dog ,so i went outside to say hello. Putting the back of my hand gently to the dog's nose and saying her name in a friendly tone, I reached out my hand slowly towards the cute little ball of fur. 5 seconds later my hand was in the dog's jaw and it had bit me!!!! I didn't tell the lady but she knew something was wrong? So I hope my Tetanus is up to date and I don't start howling in the middle of the night.....mind you I do that anyway when I don't sleep lol.

Dwarf

Ok, so going in the right direction again now. A good day at work and very busy what with dressing digging carrying etc. I now need to catch up on the jobs that I put on hold these last few days. It was strange not playing last night but I still did 30 minutes practice to make up for it. Was wound up this morning with the local news. It was about a man who lived on a narrow boat and had fallen in the water losing his life. That night vandals went up and trashed his car and boat. I tell you unless the decent people start to stand together and give these parasites a good hiding (as there mum and dads should have done when they were tots) then the problem will never stop.
Did you also know that alot of funerals are paid for by you the Tax payer? We still have a few people come in and arrange the Funeral and after say they can't pay......They never tell us before so that we can work out some other way of helping them! The G in GB should now stand for Gutter and not great!!

tails

Thankfully my head did switch off for a while last night. giving me enough chance to part recharge my batteries. I can survive (as I have done for years) on 3-4 hours sleep but it gets extremely anxiety producing when i get none at all.. I managed to train to day so all is not lost yet. Extremely bad news today that a trumpet player that I know has passed away. He was a gentleman and a very very nice man. We are doing the Funeral, although I am off that week I will be coming in to work, to carry on the day. I also write some stuff for Insomnia/Anxiety/Depression web sites and was surprised to be contacted from an ex member of my Regiment. He to was having probs but he sent advice to me which is great when you are in need of support through bad times. I hope I will return the compliment some day.

Taxi

Ok so this is how it is. Last night I got absolutely no sleep at all. My head would not switch off and it became extremely stressful knowing the amount of work ahead of me today. I still got out of bed and did the work although my thoughts last night on how I would cope were all consuming. I did cope, I always seem to, but it takes a little more of me away each time. There is a chance I will not drop off tonight either judging by the pattern of insomnia and I have to ride it out until it goes. I am still making myself practice though although it is half hearted. The weather has cancelled Tue concert so a bit of respite there thank goodness. Oh for some Zzzzzzzzz

Egyptian PT

Looking forward to a lay in but did not happen. I have to laugh to myself when it is like this as there is no other way around it. However did get a blow today and did my yearly hoovering so all is not lost yet.