Harper tunity

They say that there is no fool like an old fool, but some kids of today can offer some stiff competition. Such as the ones who now like to walk slowly across roads showing no fear as they slow down traffic. That is until they have me drive at them....I get fairly close and I know one day that I will clip one of these imbeciles, but at least they wont do it again in a hurry!
I usually scorn people who queue for hours for the New Year sales. So why then did I stand in line for an hour yesterday to meet Robert Lindsay (My Family) so he could sign a copy of his book? I got him to sign it to the Musical Undertaker which opened up a quick dialogue about why? Anyway got to shake his hand and I went away £20 lighter.
The day started oddly with me going to watch the city's premier showing as what was billed 'The most Terrifying Film of 2009'
This was entitled Paranormal Activity, which was shot on a budget of £36.50p but had taken millions in the USA. Before the film came to the UK there was footage of Cinema audiences literally jumping out of their seats?
So it was with some anticipation I took my seat in the Cinema. I am not joking when I tell you that there was only one other person in the 250 seat theater. They sat 3 rows from the front and I took the back row. So why is it then, that just as the film started, a couple came in and sat on the same row as me and only 3 seats away????? Not only that, they proceeded to talk throughout the whole film. was it scary.... Listen. I have seen more things in my life that you could only imagine in your worse nightmares ,so the answer is no. The only film that has ever made me jump is Exorcist 3 and I defy you to watch it on your own in a darkened room. If you do I would wear 2 pair of pants. Just in case.