After spending 40 minutes trying to find a parking space at the new hospital I walked into the waiting room very stressed. Only to find out that the specialist was running an hour late!!!
Finally got to see the bloke and he said that him and the nurse had to take a look inside. Now the nurse had overdone the fake tan so as she inserted the Kodak Brownie into my nethers a tune from Boney M popped into my head. Brown Girl up my ring tra la la la laaa went whizzing round but this did distract me from the rather uncomfortable intrusion into my bum? Although the specialist wants to run a scan he found...wait for it. Not 1 but 3 hemeroids up there. They were living quite happily as a family presumably (although one had passed on in the early hours of a December morning). He said he would treat them then and there by inserting rubber bands around them? Now I have to say although this is painless during the process it now feels like I have been kicked up the jacksy by someone wearing a steel capped boot? They also said i would probably bleed quite a bit and NOT TO PANIC!!!!. They suggested wearing 'ladies things' in bed. I thought they meant a negligee, but apparently they meant pads. Now how embarrassing is that. I mean am I normal flow or heavy.... hmmm? Anyway I have to say I am relieved they found something to answer my 6 weeks of worry. I now have to wait for some sort of scan just to make sure,I just hope it doesn't involve that awful drink that confines you to the bog for a day.My a *se really can't take anymore!!
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