Proops

Well I am used to giving advice about Anxiety and Depression on a number of sites including my own web site, but who would have thought I would be giving advice about relationships??? The problem and answer is printed in full below with usernames protected for privacy reasons.


Ok everyone knows that long distance relationships don't work right? But this time I was damn sure...
This problem has been quite recent one. Me and my partner have a large age gap, me being 18 and him being 34. We're both responsible adults with demanding jobs and I realise you can't have everything perfect.I'm currently on sick pay from the army for a bad back whilst my partner is still working. He lives in London while I live in Chester (other side of the country) but as I'm off now I've gotten to see him quite a fair bit more than I used to in the past when we were bpth working. However, recently, hes been to a wedding reception without me and it just kind of got me curious as to why I wasn't invited, so I started to check a few things. I saw that he'd been 'active within 24 hours' on Match.com and its quite upsetting. Suddenly everythings clicked, whenever we go out for meals or the cinema hes always on edge or seems quite despondant from me, I think hes embaressed of me or something because of the age gap? sigh Sorry for the long windedness of this...I really want to confront him about this but I don't know how to do so at all. Any suggestions would be appreciated...

A member since: 7/27/2009
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The Soldier and The Police Officer
Replies
#1 yesterday, ********** advised:
Hi. I am an ex soldier with 17 years service under my belt and been out now almost as long as I have been in. I am 53 and my partner is 38. Guess what we have been together for 15 years. Ok I have to admit that at first the age gap made me very very uncomfortable and we did get remarks from some muppets. Howver as time went by you start to accept it is just a number. A man might be on his guard all the time for the muppet to come along and make a remark so he is always wired up for confrontation so it is not easy. It is not insurmountable though and takes patience and in some ways courage. If you both love each other you need to ignore the muppets and get on with your lives. What you must do though is talk and get this age thing in the open. Once you both are honest witheach other about any insecurities things can only get better. Good Luck.
Reply to ************
#2 yesterday, ********* responded:
I grew a pair this morning and confronted him about it. You were totally right. Thankyou =]
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