1000m

I still wear a small tie pin with my Regimental badge on it. Today at a Funeral a lad was staring intently at me, so much so that I felt very uncomfortable. Turns out he was ex 9/12 Royal Lancers and for at least a couple of years we must have served in the same Regiment together. Small world or what? I am ready for this weekend as my guts have been on an adventure of their own all this week. I am trying to keep a record of what I eat to see if their are any patterns that will stop me doing a Linford Christie to the bog, but as yet it is all very random. Maybe I should stop drinking the ten pints of Stella at night...that is a joke by the way as I have gone all sophisticated and have a small glass of red wine most of the time. Ah well at least it is keeping my weight down...

Kit Kat

After having my lounge decorated I decided that I would call in an interior designer to move the ornaments and get the correct Fung Shooooie for the room!! Of course this is my partner who has made me take down all the old coffin lids and skeletons I had adorning the walls and go for something more minimalistic?? Anyway as she was wandering around my house bare footed I heard a bang and a scream. She had only stubbed her toe on my exercise bike and broken it ( her toe not the bike)!! She has said all along that exercise is bad for you?
We have a range of ages in the Funeral Home at this time but it is always sad to get a child who has passed away. It really can shake your faith sometimes as to what life is all about.
On a personal note, I wonder how long it is going to be before someone has the guts to bring our boys back from Afghanistan. How many more have to die before the Government show some back bone and get them out. I fear that they do not have the b**ls to make a decision like that ,for fear of losing face. How do they sleep at night?

Proops

Well I am used to giving advice about Anxiety and Depression on a number of sites including my own web site, but who would have thought I would be giving advice about relationships??? The problem and answer is printed in full below with usernames protected for privacy reasons.


Ok everyone knows that long distance relationships don't work right? But this time I was damn sure...
This problem has been quite recent one. Me and my partner have a large age gap, me being 18 and him being 34. We're both responsible adults with demanding jobs and I realise you can't have everything perfect.I'm currently on sick pay from the army for a bad back whilst my partner is still working. He lives in London while I live in Chester (other side of the country) but as I'm off now I've gotten to see him quite a fair bit more than I used to in the past when we were bpth working. However, recently, hes been to a wedding reception without me and it just kind of got me curious as to why I wasn't invited, so I started to check a few things. I saw that he'd been 'active within 24 hours' on Match.com and its quite upsetting. Suddenly everythings clicked, whenever we go out for meals or the cinema hes always on edge or seems quite despondant from me, I think hes embaressed of me or something because of the age gap? sigh Sorry for the long windedness of this...I really want to confront him about this but I don't know how to do so at all. Any suggestions would be appreciated...

A member since: 7/27/2009
******** other worries
The Soldier and The Police Officer
Replies
#1 yesterday, ********** advised:
Hi. I am an ex soldier with 17 years service under my belt and been out now almost as long as I have been in. I am 53 and my partner is 38. Guess what we have been together for 15 years. Ok I have to admit that at first the age gap made me very very uncomfortable and we did get remarks from some muppets. Howver as time went by you start to accept it is just a number. A man might be on his guard all the time for the muppet to come along and make a remark so he is always wired up for confrontation so it is not easy. It is not insurmountable though and takes patience and in some ways courage. If you both love each other you need to ignore the muppets and get on with your lives. What you must do though is talk and get this age thing in the open. Once you both are honest witheach other about any insecurities things can only get better. Good Luck.
Reply to ************
#2 yesterday, ********* responded:
I grew a pair this morning and confronted him about it. You were totally right. Thankyou =]
***********

Poo

Not a happy teddy today as the old tum all over the place. I am trying to keep a record of what I eat to see if there are any patterns to set this off. Managed a full training session yesterday and a good practice as well. My work colleague and his wife have fostered two 5 year old boys and he is in his late 40s. He was finding it difficult to keep awake as they are a bit boisterous at times but at least they have got a loving family now to look after them. We are getting busy at work again and the next few days should fly past hopefully. I am wishing my life away to the weekends these days ,which is sad I suppose. But when I think of 17 years in The Army (24 hours a day not 9-5) Five years as a Millwright, 10 years as an Undertaker and 40 years in the Music business, I figure I need a rest?

Table

Although no Funerals today I have kept busy by making up coffins, engraving plates and dressing bodies. Everyone knows my views on this but as I have said there are exceptions. In the case of the person I dressed today they had requested it themselves and it was not an afterthought by a Family member so I was more than happy to carry out this request. It still was not easy though as this person had obviously been extremely poorly and yes we have to sanitise as well and I am sure you can use your imagination as to why. Not a pleasant job just before your lunch but there is no other way as some Nursing Homes and Hospitals just release the bodies as they died which is disgusting. So while doing these things I try and think of more pleasant things which sometimes is not easy I can tell you. Oh well, I made my bed etc etc. Hope to get back into training today but I am going to take it easy to start with. For the next month all the Bands I am in are off the road for a Holiday and actually I am looking forward to the break but i will still have to practice boo.

Twit

A packed room for the last concert before summer recess at the Oak. I am really pleased with the bone section as we are becoming much tighter now that i am not jumping up and down with the mic all the time, My favourite two solo's tonight in Too Little Time and Send in the Clowns although I fluffed a couple in the Miller number. I am starting to settle a bit now and am putting off doing a retest on a certain thing because to be honest I am a little bit anxious as to if the problem is still there. I should know better as a bloke cos that is what we do 'put off and maybe it will go away' Anyway it will be done soon so you will know if my mood goes down in the Blogs that the problem still exists.
I am thinking of taking up Hornythology...the study of birds! I am studying Owls at the moment and found out that the most commonest of Owl to the British Isles is not the Barn Owl as some folk think, but the Teat..............It took Roy the wallet 30 seconds to get that one!

Giles

Before I was born, my Dad alongside his Dad, ran a Funeral Home together. He was also brought up a staunch Catholic but as he got older his belief in anything after death turned to zero. Where as I do have a belief, a strong belief there is something else. I say my dad had no belief. That was until a recent holiday in the Cotswold where he stayed in a 400 year old Cottage with his partner. Whilst she was having a bath, he was doing the dishes downstairs (typical). he suddenly caught sight of something in the corner of his eye and turned to face it. For a fleeting moment. looking back at him was a Farmer dressed in the old fashioned smock and hat..... the apparition promptly disappeared. This of course shocked my old Dad and he kept it secret from his partner in case he scared her. It certainly has changed his views on things. by the way this is not a joke and I have found it fascinating as my dad is a definite non believer...or at least,was!

Coronary

Had to do a house removal this week. It sounds terrible but you pray that the person who has passed on is small? I would love to get a Health and Safety expert and say to them 'Show me how to do it then' because there is no easy way when they are upstairs in bed and weight allot. Add to that the small doorways and tight bends where you have to upend the stretcher to get around. Now by upending I mean one person who has drawn the short straw and got the head end. In this case it was me. What with me hernia and IBS I thought I did rather well but it almost corpsed me (no pun) and both of us were gasping for breath after. All this just after lunch and no warm up to prepare our hearts....it aint healthy. It would be ideal that if a person felt unwell that they came downstairs and lay by the door...just in case!!!!!
Also had a letter from the Cottage people today basically saying that me and my partner are liars....Oh boy they have started something now. They had better prepare themselves for a Battle because I am coming for them and hell is coming with me grrrrr.

Eebee Geebees

It's done. My house has returned to its normal level of untidiness and I have new wallpaper to sit and stare at. Ok so I am bored with it already and I have never understood this decorating lark. I mean a local National Trust Property has had the same wallpaper since it was built in 1860? I can't see them rushing to hang textured vinyl to brighten the place up? Well that's it for me and what is up ,will stay up until I snuff it or move or any combination of the above. Catch up time. Tuesday I could not get a third player to sit in for SBB so I asked a top first player to do second with the promise I would chuck him all the solos. he did and he did them superbly (I am writing this cos I know he reads my blog lol) Had an early start helping another company today. I can guarantee that when they call us in the coffin is either heavy or it is a complicated Funeral. It was heavy and it nearly crippled the bottom of my spine. this company have so many people off with bad backs etc that they still do not understand the concept of wheeling the coffin. Ok in Victorian times when people just ate Turnips and Swedes, they weighted allot less. Now though with Mcdonalds and KFC you sometimes could do with a Fork lift Truck. We have to come into the 21st century with this, as the spine was not meant to carry so much weight. Ah, good to be back to full moan. On another note I am glad that the local Cemetery had a bog as it was an early morning funeral and my Constitution times are changing every day (not like my dad who goes regularly at 6am every morning. A bit unfortunate as he does not get out of bed until 8). Anyway no flipping lock on the door so I had to sing. It was a hard choice of song seeing I was in the Cemetery but I thought the song Staying Alive was appropriate?

Thoughts

Ok so I could not keep away. Had to post this as it proves how your life can change in seconds.
A guy I know who works for another company is a brilliant Hearse Driver. He drove a bus for many years and has never had an accident. Reversing into the Funeral Companies yard his reversing aid started to emit a continuous tone. This means you are almost touching an object. It usually warns you first as the beeps get nearer together. However on this occasion an old lady had walked behind the Hearse and although there was no real collision, she fell and banged her head. She later died in the ambulance. Now I cant imagine what my colleauge is going through at this time. It is awful for him as he is one of the safest drivers for the company. However if the reversing aid made that noise it is my guess the old lady tripped and fell behind the vehicle? I do hope he overcomes this awful time.
As for the decorating..well it looks more like a room now and with a couple of days to go I should be back to 'normal'!!!
Not had much time for practice as I cant find my trombone which must be hidden somewhere under the scraped off wallpaper.

Cheese Crater

My house looks like Beirut at the moment. It is quite stressful ,that although I live in a hovel at times, this is the top end of the scale for untidiness with bits of wallpaper scattered around the room and hanging off the walls.
Massive crowd for last nights concert and all went very well. I made a big mistake and knew I would pay for it today. If I eat after 10pm then I know I will be in trouble the next day. Fact is the free beefburgers were great and I had 2 including cheese mustard and chips. So driving to the shops this morning I had to do a handbrake turn and whiz back to the house, making it just in time.......Lovely.

The Angle of the Dangle

Going to take a few days off blogging next week as i am having some decorating done. Last time I did it myself and it is the most time consuming, frustrating thing I have done. Especially when I got to the end and found out that the wall was out. Even though I plumb bobbed it you had to walk down the stairs at an angle to make the paper look straight?
So this time I am using a mate in the business who is going to make a proper job?
See you soon.

Noah

I don't really have a job description. If you saw what we did and you received the description through the post there is a good chance you would not turn up for the job? However today I found myself up a ladder painting window frames. very brave of me since the parachute accident as I cant really put one of my feet flat for to long. Still I managed to cling on and although getting more paint up the wall, I got the job done. I then had to meet another company for a carry in at the Crem but was almost late as the road had flashed flooded. I made it with seconds to spare, slipping my right shoulder under the coffin without the mourners noticing!!
Only one gig this weekend but managed a whole hours practice last night, which is the most I have done for a while. Thank goodness it is poets day.

Linford

A busy day today. We rushed out to help another company on a Funeral and me and my colleague carried at the head end for them. When we carry we usually walk very slowly. I think this company were all sprint runners as me and my mate were hanging on for grim death in case the coffin slipped off our shoulders. It was a very hairy moment I can tell you (I dont have many of them) and I was not relishing walking (or jogging) over a 6ft drop with the coffin. All went well though. It was then a rush back to base to dress more deceased in their clothes. You now my feeling about this and even more so when they are down for cremation. It ain't dignified and you will never change my opinion on this. Maybe they should bring the Generation Game back and make it a part of the challenge so folk could see how and what it takes.......but somehow I think that might be just to much?

No Show

Perhaps yesterdays Blog should have been titled Quartet but never mind. I was hoping for an easy ride at band last night but ended up with 3 solo's on the run and mostly high. This proved a point that maybe I could cut my practice down as I managed them all ok???
Also had a chat with my friend who is remaining extremely positive throughout his illness and I am proud of him. I just wish I could do more. However he is a fighter and I am sure he will beat this thing. I have decided to now pull out of the show in October as we could be getting busy over these months and I don't relish doing late Funerals, rushing home and then off down the motorway for a week. I have had a full and busy life so can afford to go a bit easier on myself these days?? By the way, a male vocalist turned up last night saying he did some Frank Sinatra songs. I thought he would be just an average singer but boy was I wrong. If you closed your eyes you would have thought the man himself was in the room.

Trio

Well after visiting the smallest room in the house 3 times so far today I have booked another Dr appointment. Once again whilst on the way to a Funeral I was took short and had to clench my buttocks for at least 30 minutes. Nice!!!!
Even worse one of my work colleagues daughters has now got swine flu, but he is in at work anyway. I could just do with a dose of that as well.
For some unknown reason i took another show last night. My brain said 'NO' my mouth said 'YES' ???? Will I ever learn!

Pig

I should not be writing this as it was an overheard conversation. However this new Flu virus is worse than people thought and I figure that the powers that be are extremely worried. I have found out that there are now a number of resources in place that even I did not know about, but it reminds me of the Flu virus about 7 years ago where refrigerated supermarket trucks were used to store the dead. I can only hint that from what I have heard, this is much worse.
On a positive note. I had not blown for a week and had 3 small solos last night, including the extremely high 'Under My Skin' All went well. As for the rest of my life at the moment. Well I am dealing with it and need to find some answers and solutions. Don't hold your breath

Bach

What can I say about my Holiday that would give you an insight into how it went.....Well here goes. The first few days I averaged 2 hours a night sleep. My IBS decided it did not like the Seaside so I know where every toilet is from Bangor to Rhyl. Oh yes I had a puncture on the second day. On the third I found that my expensive dust caps (blue steel) had been nicked from outside the cottage. Well not all as they left one. So the next night I just happened to catch the thieving gits. I made one cry as i shouted so loud (yes only young, but apparently they terrorise the neighbourhood scratching cars etc) They gave the caps back and we spoke to the police and the neighbours who seemed to be terrified of them??? They were not like the Midlands thugs and i saw an ounce of decency in them. So much so that the next day I told them if they needed something so badly they only had to ask, so i gave them the caps??? Not sure what I was trying to achieve here, but hopefully a modicum of respect for them to learn. The cottage itself was dirty and had rats....yes rats. Also it was next to the busiest road in Conway and all the cars seemed to have no exhausts or souped up cars. If I said sleeping on the M25 would have been quieter I would not be lying??? To cap t all, on the way back. Doris, my Sat Nav took me across country home and mostly B roads. So if anyone asks me if I had a good break.......grrr
I now have to sort my guts and other things out as soon as my stress levels drop to a normal limit and not of someone who is about to base jump off Everest. welcome home.
P.S Only managed a 10 minute blow all week.
P.P.S Went crabbing off Bangor Pier. the record for crabs was 236 in one hour. I caught 1 in the same time and I think he just committed suicide by hanging from the line.
P.P.P.S Went to where they filmed The Prisoner Porthaddock or something like that...very weird.
P.P.P.P.S There is no P.P.P.P.S

Dry

I would say that it was a million to one chance after yesterdays post, that I bump into the very person I was asking about yesterday? He had returned from Canada because his wife is terminally ill. It was great to see him again, but everyone I meet has a tragic tale to tell. I am off to the doc's as soon as i get back off a trip. I am pretty sure now something is not quite right, but I do not want to spoil my partners holiday. Up to now a rough ride (apart from Thu?)
Typical though that after the heatwave it is now pouring it down.

Big and Red

I decided, that on the hottest day of the year, I would cycle into town again today. On the way i was thinking about an old mate who was a Fireman and was going to emigrate to Canada. Spookily as i rounded a bend, there was a Fire Engine and 6 Fire fighters stood beside it. I was going quite fast so i thought I would stop and ask if they knew him. Unfortunately I decided to fall off my bike at that point as well? Hitting the side of their engine I managed to wobble to halt in front of them. That was the un coolest thing I have ever done!! Anyway they did know him and he had returned to the UK recently as his wife is poorly.Had lunch in town and then cycled back. I have to say that this is the best day in a long long time and I enjoyed every second. That's the only positive thing about all this. when you do get a good day, you appreciate it a hundred times more. I now have to find a way to smuggle my bone into the car for when I go away and without my partner finding out?

Family Plan

Flipin marvelous isn't it. Although I have been out and about today my guts have been churning. So I thought a visit to the chemist was in order to get some over the counter remedy for the IBS (!) Only it was not going to be as easy as that because sat waiting for his prescription was another musician. In a loud voice he said 'Hi mate have you come for your condoms' This in a shop full of people. Quick as a flash I replied 'No they don't do extra large here!' I could have done without it really but there you go. I have been to the marina today and sat having a coffee looking at the Narrow Boats. There was one for sale at £45k and chatting to a bloke it would be ideal to live on one. Apparently you cant escape the community charge though so there is no escape from this grabbing Government, so will stick to my dream of living by the sea.