Billy 2

People often ask me why I am still single??? Well actually I was born that way and I have it in my power to make at least one woman extremely happy, by remaining a bachelor.

Three Funerals today, so the day flew past. Actually yesterday and today have been quite good really compared to Saturdays lieu day!! which is a relief for my poor old bot.
My partner is once again, on holiday with her Mum. They have travelled 250 miles and yet still end up in a Garden Centre?

Last nights Dance was poorly attended, but it did make for more room on the Dance floor, which made a change. I also enjoyed the blow last night and my lip felt really good?

I forgot to mention that on Saturday a married couple were chatting to our treasurer asking about booking the Band. He told them he would have to see me, the Secretary. To which the bloke replied 'Oh the follicley challenged one' I managed to stop myself replying 'it's better than facially challenged like your wife??'
See a pro to the end? (me not his wife)

I also visited a big Supermarket yesterday to get some wheat free, Gluten free, flour free bread (so that's cardboard then?). When I got their I figured that a World War had been broadcast on the radio, as you could not move for folk? Is that really all they have to do on a Sunday afternoon???. I was quite proud that using the self service checkout I was in and out like a Military Manoeuvre, whilst folk queued with trolleys groaning with the weight of food in them? Do people really eat that much. Well judging by my poor old back and carrying coffins, it seems that they do.

Routine

I don't know if I have eaten something that my system doesn't like (most things these days) but I think I am saving money on buying Colonic irrigation treatment!!!
Very hot in Dovedale last night but a nice little gig never the less.
It was strange, that about an hour from the end of the Concert,people started to leave. Nothing we had done, it was just getting past their bed times I think?

We were talking about people who are atheists the other day. I said I did not want to be one because they get no holidays?
My mate said he had begun to doubt the existence of God, three years into his marriage?
Strange Old World
Now where's that Izal.....

Jeans

I had a long telephone conversation with my Cousin last night. I learned more in that half hour about my childhood than I have ever known before.
It certainly explains why I have the problems I do have, but it is too complex to write down here.
It would also seem that my Mum was bombed twice in Shooters Hill in the War and both times had to be dug out of the rubble? I only just found out that she had a brother as well? For the first few months of my childhood I was looked after by relatives. It would seem that PND had hit my mum bad and what with the other experiences, caused her to be hospitalised.
So using the resources of the Internet and the info I have I should be able to dig more of my past up (thinking about it maybe not a good idea). All this from an atrocity that took place in Cumbria?
Really bad tum today and I really can't understand why I am not losing weight. My input and output is certainly not balanced?
Been out on the bike today (irritating matters even more) and with this hot weather it's really hard to know what to wear.
Never had the problem in the Army as you never had to decide what to wear???
By the way, if you click the title you can read an article on Shooters Hill

Royal Hindness

Flipping very hard week. Sleep extremely poor and bot in volcano land again?? Am I miserable???? Bloody right I am but, as they say, The show must go on'
Actually probably not an ideal reference with Freddy Mercury and the way my backside feels!!!
I was promoted to hearse driver today and was extremely frustrated, that the guy on the Limo let cars, not on the Funeral, in between the cortege. It is quite simple to keep the cortege together and 99.9% of the time you can get across a roundabout and junction with no problems. This Limo driver might as well have handed out invitations with the gap he left between his bonnet and the back of the Hearse??
We have a busy weekend of music so hopefully I will catch up on some kip to boost my batteries instead of relying on copious amounts of Black Coffee.
I wondered how long it would take before jokes would come along connected to the Cumbria shootings. They are in extremely bad taste but then again us Brits seem to handle dire situations with humour.
That's why I am always laughing when I am on the bog!!!

Imperial Leather

Most unforgivably it has taken a massacre in Cumbria to prompt me to ring my Cousin. She lives in the area the shootings took place and is thankfully ok. However we only seem to meet at Funerals these days and write cards to each other. It would seem that this guy had been bullied by other taxi drivers. To the people who were doing it, they though it was just a laugh, but no one knows what goes on in another persons mind? and how the stress and anxiety was building up in him. This guy finally cracked and went berserk?
They are now talking about banning all shotguns (How would that work when the Olympics hit the UK) they are also talking about putting alcohol up as the UK has a drink problem? Well that is like saying lets ban all cars because more people are killed by them than a mad man with a gun?
It is always the bad people who spoil it for the good and the good always pay?

We have had a gig cancelled with only a few days to go. Seems the credit crunch is hitting in other ways?

Been nice and cool in my black suit and waistcoat today pheeew. Actually I love the heat so I have no problems with it at all.

It would seem they are rethinking the idea of Stealth Planes in armed conflicts. Ok the plane is invisible to the enemies radar but when they look at the screen they still see 2 guys in a sitting position at 20,000 feet??

Diagnosis Murder

Another great success story for the medical system I heard today. This chap went to the Doctors with chest pains and they gave him anti acid medicine. 8 hours later he was dead!!! Scary isnt it? But I keep hearing more and more horror stories and it is all down to stress and lack of time for the Doctors. How can you diagnose in ten minutes? Unfortunately it still comes down to the ever growing population of the UK. Whats the answer?? Well you do know the answer, but what can we do about it??

I overheard a musician saying this the other night.

'One of my chief regrets is that I can't sit in the audience and listen to myself!!! wow that's confidence for you.

I really enjoyed the blow last night and felt sorry for our lead bone who was presented with the horrendous bone solo 'Peanut Vendor' again. It is only one chap in the audience that keeps requesting it and all it does is stress the poor musician.

It's hard for me to get use to these changing times. I remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty??

Pardon?

Last week I experience the delights of cycling through the country with the sun beating down on my bald pate. A drive into the peak district where I fed ducks and swans. I had the pleasure of browsing gadget shops in a different town.
Today I was washing out the ears of a recently departed!!! Not much difference in them examples then?
Oh I wish I could write what I feel, but that would be far to dangerous. However, being an avid diary keeper and a stickler for names dates and places, it is assured that I wont forget the injustices.
Some folk know the value of money but have forgotten the value of people? me thinks.
However the highlight of the day, was having a ten minute lay in, because the schools were off and not much traffic.
Oh the simple pleasures of life?