Adios Amigos

Well folks. I did say in my last blog , that normal service would be resumed as soon as possible. After having seven days, to think about where I go with this Blog, I have decided to finish writing it and this will be my last post.
I hope those that have read it, have got a little enjoyment out of it and I may have made you laugh a little.
I also hope that you have enjoyed my openness and not been to put off by it!
I would like to thank my regular readers for their nice comments and their support and understanding in some of the things that I have written and had to go through.
A special thank you, to my regular reader in Mexico?
Bless you all.
It's now time for me to Blog off.
Thank You.

Tunnel

Finally got an apology from my Bank and my money back? However it did take an e mail to say that I would withdraw my £6.72p and move it elsewhere if they did not get their act together?
Amazing how quick things moved after that.

Watched a prog about Princess Diana last night. At one point they said that when Di looked at you, you never forget it.
I can vouch for this when opening a new wing of a Hospital in Cambridge. She looked across at our Fanfare team and it made a huge impact on all of us?
I wonder if in 50 years time, a secret may be let out about her death?
I am taking a few day's off blogging to spring clean my PC. I have a feather duster a hammer and a screwdriver so it should be fun.
Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible

Sad

My heart goes out. to a fellow Trombone player who is going through a tragic family crisis at this time.
My thoughts are with him and his Family.

Badger

Whats the difference between a number one and a number two?
Well one's a wee and the other is a poo, I hear you shout?
True, but I meant haircut!
For years, I have cut what little hair I have,to a number two thickness?
Sod it, I thought yesterday I will do a number 1?
Well, even though the difference is about a millionth of an inch, I am now completely bald?
Actually that is not quite true, but I dare not brush past Velcro?
Did not think it made a difference, but 2 neighbours today said 'have you lost weight?' as there is something different about you???
So never ever say that size does not matter?

I missed my blow last night, so made up for it by practicing for half an hour, but it certainly isn't the same.

Had to laugh reading one of my partners girlie mags?
A woman went on her Hen night the day before the Ceremony.
She got absolutely bladdered and wandered away from her party.
She awoke the next morning in a strange Hotel. She looked at her watch and it was 10.30am. She was supposed to be at the alter at 9.30am.
Her Family disowned her and her Fiance left her.
Puts my bad weekend into perspective really?

Dracula Lives

Today is relaxing day, I thought as I did my early morning exercises in bed . Up 2 ...3 Down 2...3. Then the other eye lid.
It was nice, therefore, to get a call from my partner asking if I fancied a 'Steak Out'
Treated to lunch. Brill.
Of course in my complicated world, this was not to be.
The Steak was actually a Stake
Turns out that her Mum had taken a call from a bogus repair company, saying they needed to check her drains.
On contacting the company by phone, they had no record of the planned visit.
So armed with my camera, an iron bar and a Styrofoam cup of black coffee (I have watched CSI Miami) I parked at a safe distance from her House.
I pulled the sun visor down and tried to look as inconspicuous as possible (although the black trilby and sun glasses may have been to much)
For the first 30 minutes, all I saw was a horse and rider trotting past my car. As it did so, it took a huge dump right by my open window. Which reminded me, that as I had just eaten, then I would probably be not far behind it?
After an hour of undercover covert operation...sod all happened?
Turns out that they were using another reputable companies name to get work.
The Police have been informed and given her a crime number...hooray.

I have done myself out of a blow tonight, which I am pretty annoyed about.
Envisaging that I would have to front the Band Fri and Sunday, I thought I would get a dep in to cover for me Tuesday. After all I am on hol and up to the phone ringing this morning, did not know where I was going to be? or when I got there, if I would be back in time.
I didn't. I am, and I am bored!

Request Stop!

Waking fresh and alert after 4 hours sleep! I decided to bike into town.
Being an Undertaker for numerous years, I am well aware that your life can be merrily pootling along, but in seconds can change drastically.
Having reached Town via the relatively safe cycle tracks, I found the final part of my route closed.
This now meant I had to negotiate numerous busy pedestrian crossings.
All went well, until I approached, what I thought, was a single bus lane.
The bus to my right had just stopped for a red light, so I started to walk across.
However, it wasn't a single lane but a double and a bus was approaching from the left at about 80mph (ok 30mph but it was bloody fast)
My Guardian Angel must have turned my head to the left, and I caught sight of the 4 ton vehicle inches from my body.
I was almost nose to nose with the bus driver as he screamed and I quote 'You f***ing Twat'
I just had time to wholeheartedly agree with him as I embarrassingly made my way across the road to safety?

They say that your life flashes before your eyes just before a near death experience?
It didn't.
Strangely, my only thought was 'Please don't let Friday nights Dance, be the last one I ever play in'?
So a thank you to my Guardian Angel. The Bus Driver. And for having a spare pair of underpants in my backpack?

Mardy Gras

After a stressful start to my hols I thought things might calm down.
But this is my weird and wonderful life so no chance of that?
Whilst sitting having a rather nice meal and cold pint of lager last night with friends I had not seen for a long time, my mobile began to ring.
It was the Landlord of the pub we play in telling me that he had made a dreadful mistake and we could not have the room.
Bearing in mind, that my partner was looking daggers at me for taking a call at the Dinner table, I realised, that I had to make numerous phone calls to Band and audience alike and less than 24 hours to do it in.
I had also received a call in the week from a lady, asking if the Concert was on, as they were travelling many miles to listen to us. Oh yes I said, it's definitely on!!!!
However. Some inner instinct, had made me write her telephone number down which meant I could call and stop them coming.
I then entered the wonderful world of indigestion!

Having a chat with a fellow musician, it looks as though we are going to suggest, if we can drop the small band, for future bookings.
You have to be a competent player to pull it off, as there is nowhere to hide.
Some musicians play too quietly, because of confidence issues.
Some don't come in at all because they feel exposed.
It's a shame as it was a flexible Band.

Managed a long bike ride today and my favourite job, of cat poo dodge mowing, in the Garden.
Life is good.

Bankers!

2 months ago my Bank lost my wages.
They blamed me and said I needed to cancel my cheques.
2 day's after that, they found them, apologised and offered me compensation, of which I turned down.
Well folk's, they have done it again.
Only this time they have found the deposit envelope, but lost the cheques?
So my holiday has started well thus far and I am relaxed and chilled....not

I am sure a few of the Band are eagerly awaiting my report on last nights gig?
Ok, maybe just me then?
I will say only this.
There are 3 types of people.

Those who make things happen.

Those who watch things happen.

Those who wonder what the hells happening.

Pretty well sums it up really. Those that made things happen, I gave my personal thanks to.
It did not take long.

Despite this we got a great round of applause at the end and I gave out a few business cards.
Which just goes to show, that you can fool some people, some of the time.

I can clarify this by the following.
We played a piece of Glenn Miller Music and I withheld announcing the title, so I could give a prize out to those that guessed it.
First answer 'In the Mood'......wrong.
Second Answer 'Little Brown Jug'......wrong
It took 3 attempts to get American Patrol????
Now it is either, that we played it that bad, that it confused them
Or they were not fan's of 40s music, even though it was a 40s night.
I am sad to say, that on this occasion, I go for the first choice.

Clap your Hands

As I was standing over a decomposing body the other day. Breathing in the putrid fumes and wondering if I should dash to the toilet now or if I could hold on. As I was thinking how tired I was after only a couple of hours sleep,. I thought to myself 'Why am I so unhappy'?
Nope can't put my finger on it?

Was looking forward to quietly coasting into my holiday with a clear and empty mind.
I figure I deserve a break.
Unfortunately an e mail changed all that (whatever happened to the good old phone call?) and I still need to keep focused for a while longer yet.

A bandleader in a posh restaurant made a big mistake by sending a note to one of it's diners.
It was George Bernard Shaw.
The note asked if there was anything he would like the Band to play.
Mr Shaw sent a note back with only two words.
'Yes, Dominoes'?